Poetic Licence

A.B.C. Radio Newcastle had rung to interview Carol.  While waiting on the line and listening to the chat on air at the time, the program manager cut in and asked Carol could she write a poem about what they were saying it and do it on air in...about four minutes!  They were discussing an event to be held in Newcastle that week – a Naked Bike Ride.
Carol ‘delivered the goods’ and for the remaining three months of the Mid Week Forum programme, every week wrote a live to air, on-the-spot poem.  Immense pressure, immensely difficult to do, immensely popular.

Newcastle, 1 March 2007.

'The Naked Bike Ride'


Banjo's Mulga Bill is turning over in his grave.
Bike riding with your clothes ON still means you must be brave,
but riding in the bollicky? Wearing nothing but a hat?
Oh, the mind it fairly boggles. I can't wait to look at that!

Yes, there's a Naked Bike Ride (gawd knows the reason why).
I heard it on the ABC. They surely wouldn't lie!
They're even having ladies - you'd think THEY'D slip, slop, slap.
You wouldn't think that THEY'd succumb to such a booby trap.

THEY'LL probably get the booby PRIZE - much slower that the rest.
They tell me they ride tandem - side by side (that's two abreast).
They'll paint themselves with slogans. 'Save the Animals' kind.
Like 'Don't Warm up the Walrus' and 'Leave the BARE behind.'

I hope the weather's kind to them. A cold would make them cranky,
'cause they'll be wearing only paint - no pocket for a hanky.
The ride's been held in colder regions, climbing steeper angles.
It certainly is safer there - nothing ever dangles.

Now gravel rash is painful if you stack the flamin' thing,
but on those private, tender bits, would really bloomin' sting!
But be a bit courageous. It's for a worthy cause,
and be a bit OUTrageous - do it all without your drawers!

So grab your pushy this weekend and jump on - warts and all,
and join the Naked Bike Ride. You're sure to have a...ball.

©Carol Heuchan 2007


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